Trader Articles

For Thanksgiving, I wrote on all my thankfulness. Now that I’ve covered that ground, I'm ready for next year and all that 2013 will bring. Here are my New Year’s Resolutions:




I resolve not to believe any more Mayan calendars. People are actually putting their pets to sleep so they won’t suffer when the end of the world comes on December 21st. Geez. Honestly! The Mayans also predicted things that would take place 500 years from NOW, so why would they do that if the world was going to come to an end next week. Anyway, what happened to them? Where are they now? Why didn’t they predict their own extinction?




I resolve to put away my laundry that Gary incessantly folds and leaves on my dresser. I resolve to hang up my coats and not leave them on the back of the dining room chairs. I resolve to not let the fire go out. I resolve to quit procrastinating about things I don’t like to do, like paint. I hate to paint. I need to paint the front of the Riverwood porch, the bathrooms in the inn rooms and the bathroom at my house. I hate to paint. I make a complete mess, skip over spots, don’t spackle holes and I just hate to paint. I have a bad thumb and my arm get tired. I don’t see any point in paying someone to do something that I am perfectly capable to do myself, but I just hate to paint.




I resolve to keep my health up in 2013. I love my cocktails, but after Thanksgiving and reading my own article about giving thanks at the end, how thankful I was for my health, I made a resolution. I decided to cut way back on my alcohol consumption. I come from a long line of long livers, literally. I was raised around cocktail parties and learned to make Old Fashions for my mom and dad’s friends when I was just 10 years old. I loved to grind up the sugar cube, add a little bitters and bourbon, a cherry and a lemon rind……….That was my first bartending job, I guess. I’ve never NOT drank, so the day after Thanksgiving, I decided to give up alcohol for the holidays. Just like I gave up cigarettes six years ago, it wasn’t hard to give up booze. It’s just sort of weird since I own a bar, and I do miss my glass of red wine in the evening, but, if I’m going to test myself, it has to be 100%. I’ll probably have wine with Christmas dinner and definitely champagne for New Years, but then again, maybe not! But I resolve to be resolved as long as I want to be resolved!


I resolve to pick up more garbage. I will carry old shoes and trash bags wherever I go. I am SO sick, and SO tired of garbage. I’m tired of the “homeless” camps that constantly leave trash and feces in their wake. I’m tired of the “homeless” who aren’t really homeless, but are young, strong and just don’t want to work or amount to anything except wander about using up the valuable resources that are in place for the truly homeless. I resolve not to give them anything but a dirty look.
I resolve to volunteer more than I do. I send a check, but that’s not enough. I resolve to put my hands to a task that needs to be done. I resolve to continue to hope that the world will survive for my granddaughter. At the rate we’re going, I think that in 100 years living here on Earth will be like a science fiction movie.  People will have to wear masks, flippers and snorkels.  San Francisco, Miami and New York will be submerged and our fresh water will be all fracked up. I resolve to do my best to minimize my footprint for HER future.



I resolve buy me some new clothes. I hate to shop. It’s hard to believe that at one time I owned a clothing store! I hate to shop! But, I resolve to buy myself something new and nice at least once a month. Every time I go to my closet to try to find something to wear I turn around, go back out and put on the same thing over and over again. I need some new threads.
I resolve to try to eat everything on plate. I always leave one bite and it drives Gary nuts. I resolve to try not to drive him nuts. Since I’m not drinking, I can eat everything on my plate. Actually, that was my plan by not drinking during the holidays. Now I won’t feel so guilty eating fudge, cookies and pies.



I resolve never to use the word “dude” unless I’m referring to a ranch. I overhear lots of conversations and that is the one word that puts my teeth on edge. Another word that I can’t stand, which is used constantly in conversations is “f____ing” this and that. Combine “f___ing” with “dude” and you have a completely moronic ding dong attempting to communicate. A chimp could do better with grunts.



I resolve never to put one of those things on my ear so I can walk around talking to someone else on a cell phone. It used to be that the only people who did that were burned out on drugs but now it’s hard to tell the difference. Everyone is talking to themselves now. I resolve never to sneeze without covering my mouth. I resolve to wipe my feet before I go into any building with a roof. I resolve to put my Christmas lights away neatly, wound up and taped together so next year I don’t spend hours sorting them out. I think I have resolved that every year, but by the time I take down the tree, I’m so done with the “holidaze” I just throw them in a big box and shove them up in my attic. This year will be different.



I resolve to honk my horn at drivers who are texting while passing me at 80mph. I resolve to never drive without my seat belt. I resolve to try new recipes and quit saying I’m tired of cooking. I resolve to write better stories next year. I resolve to resolve myself to all these resolutions to the best of my ability


I just finished reading “Lincoln”. I wish, for the New Year, that all the politicians in Washington would read this book and search within themselves for any shred of dignity and loyalty to this Country that makes them worthy to hold office. If they can’t do that, then I wish they would all hold hands and jump off the Fiscal Cliff. I wish North Korea would implode. I wish Macy*s would quit sending me a bill for $2.00. I wish someone would rake my leaves. Finally, I wish you all a prosperous and Happy New Year. Take care of each other and take care of our Earth. She’s the only one were going to get.